17 January 2018

Broken Down and Broken Up

This past December was an immensely difficult month for me. I suffered a weed-induced manic attack on 30 November 2017, which resulted in my boyfriend Matthew breaking up with me, my friend Leah cutting off ties with me, and the loss of my housing in Portland, Oregon. In a nutshell, my mental breakdown was costly and resulted in an overturning of my life and my living situation.

The month of December was tumultuous for me personally. I was arrested in Portland when police confronted me about smoking cannabis in my car (which is legal in Oregon). I was checked into a psychiatric hospital for a week in Portland after a dramatic confrontation with Leah and the police. During my 36-hour cross-country drive home from Portland to Steubenville, I was pulled over for a burnt out headlight, only to have the police search my car, which resulted in my arrest for possessing less than 1/4-oz of cannabis on my person. I served 8 days in jail prior to my court date, which was an embarrassing but oddly pleasant chance to clear my mind of the fog in which I had found myself at that time.

Since then, my time in Steubenville has been splendid and healing. My friend Whitney has been gracious enough to open her house and her family to me, while I spend the next several weeks recuperating and continuing my eternal job hunt. In my hometown, I've spent time productively applying for jobs, interviewing, volunteering at my high school, and reconnecting with cherished friends of mine from high school.

At this point, I am still applying for jobs, awaiting interviews, waiting on prospective employers to follow up, trying to rekindle a relationship with Matthew, and basically trying to put my life back together again. I'm thankful for the love and the support I've received from my beloved friends. And I'm hopeful for the future, as I climb from out of "rock bottom" in order to restore the greatness that I once had.

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